Dear Mum…

What a strange world we are living in at the moment…

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday, March 22, but the current government advice is to engage in social distancing and most of the usual places you might plan to go to mark the day are actually closed.

People aged over 70 have been asked to stay at home for 12 weeks for their own safety & to prevent the spread of the coronavirus, which is particularly dangerous for this age group.

 

 

Thus, for many, this Mother’s Day is going to feel very different….

This is not the blog I set out to write!  My intention was to write about our mum’s and what we inherit from them not only our eye & hair colour, physique etc, from their gene pool but their sense of style…

How that old cliché about every woman turning into her mother might not be so ridiculous after all!  Science says your mum directly influences many of the things that make you, you – from your intelligence to your behaviour in romantic relationships to even how you dress!

However, as I sat here trying to write that blog, it just didn’t feel right, in these times of such uncertainty. I felt the need to write an alternative Mother’s Day post, so here we go…

As I dropped my boys off to school yesterday morning, Friday 20th March 2020, I cried.  Schools are now closed for the foreseeable future whilst our Nation tries desperately hard to bring a halt to this Global Pandemic. 

It struck me, that this could have been the last ever time I dropped my boys off at Primary School.

They are currently in Year 6 and have been granted places at Senior School come September.  The gates are closing and we have no idea when they will open again.

I have been told by many people how children grow up really quickly during the Summer transition phase between Primary & Senior school, and they will need me less.  My role as a Mum to them is changing…and fast!

The next few weeks & months, for the foreseeable future, are going to be strange!  Home-schooling & being with them 24/7 and this truly scares me!  Am I good enough?  Am I up for the job?

 

Last Day of Primary School?

 

And this got me thinking.  With Mother’s Day tomorrow & at this horrible time of unease, let’s celebrate our Mum’s & all that they do and the sacrifices they make for us.

The modern-day Mothering Sunday is an important celebration, marked, normally, by the gathering of family, giving gifts and for celebrating mums, but also remembering mums who are no longer with us, but who are no less present in our lives.

I am fortunate that my own Mum is still here, but she has many underlying health issues and this is a real concern, so this year, we won’t see her.

I am lucky to have had her as a blueprint for all the other female relationships which came after.  She’s the first person I call with a problem and along with my husband, is probably the person who knows me the best in the world.

My mum has always been my best friend and I’m grateful to have such a strong bond with her. 

She’s an incredibly fair, objective and compassionate person.

Mothers give up a lot for their jobs:  their waistlines, sleep, the backseat of their cars, years of peace and quiet. They’d even give their lives.

We all know that our mums are the best – it’s their love and guidance that shapes so much of who we are, and Mother’s Day is that once-a-year opportunity to pause and appreciate what the gift of motherhood means.

 

Happy Mother’s Day – My Mum!

So today, I am writing my blog about the Top Qualities for being a Good Mum, and what have I learnt so far?

Be A Good Role Model

We are the first person our child ever knows. They’ve been with us right from when their little life was created.

All Mums are basically like Superman, but with more superpowers.  Sometimes we take our mums for granted. But for many of us, she is the best role model that we will ever have. Not only has she raised us, but she’s also been our personal coach during every stage of our life journey, looked after us when we have been ill, and she always fights our corner. With her confidence, style and sass there is plenty that you can learn from her and teach the next generation.

And most importantly, show unconditional love and forgiveness. I think we need to give children a lot of grace in order for them to understand how to extend it to others.

Set Boundaries And Rules

Children need boundaries to thrive. They need to know what they can and can’t do and when.

It is well known that secure boundaries reduce anxiety. Rules and routines like mealtimes, bedtimes, homework time, and screen time create predictability in a child’s life.

These parental boundaries allow us to grow up, to understand we can’t always get our own way, to be more patient and mature. Knowing that there is a limit to how much comfort and pleasure our mums will provide, our children can learn to cope with disappointment.

 

Mum with Twin Boys - Mother's Day Blog Post
Me & My Twin Boys

Be Honest & Respectful

Honesty and respect are tied together.

Not only did she teach that honesty is always the best policy, but she also practises this herself when it comes to dispensing advice.

And respect is two-sided. If you want your child to show you respect you also need to show and give them respect in return.

Home is the place where you first learn about respect, you learn about;

  • Using good manners, like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
  • Sharing things like toys, games and food with other people in your family.
  • Looking after your own things and take care of other things in the house.
  • Listening.
  • Understanding that you will not always get what you want.
  • Respecting others in the community where you live.

Be Supportive And Loving

It can be tough growing up. You will need to show support for your little one.

Knowing you have the support and love of your parents should be something every child can always rely on.

They need our help and guidance throughout their lives, and as parents, we should give it – no questions asked.

I still need support from my parents even though I’m fully grown as an adult with my own family!

 

Katie Topping - Owner of Spirit & Grace Style with her Mum and 3 sisters.
Katie Topping with her Mum & 3 Sisters

Be Patient 

Learning to be patient with your child can take time They are always testing the rules and boundaries that have been set. Seeing what they can and can’t get away with.

It can take them a while to understand and perfect what they should be doing.

However, it’s important that we are patient with them, we all learn in our time and getting angry with them isn’t going to help their self-confidence.

I’m not going to lie this is the one I struggle with the most, patience is a lost art form on me! 

Forgiveness

Your children will make mistakes. You need to forgive them when they do go wrong. They are still learning.

After they have been disciplined, forgiveness should be offered with a few hugs and kisses.

Forgiveness also works both ways, we Mums are not immune to making mistakes either!

While appreciation for any parent should be every day of the year, I still love to extra appreciate my Mum on this special day. I had no idea how hard (yet amazing) motherhood would be until I finally got there. So, my love and respect for my own Mum (and anyone out there who has ever raised a child) grows more and more every day.

And have you noticed that somehow Mums just have a magical sixth sense and they are able to pick up on things that you aren’t even aware of!

Is your Mum a role model to you?  What is the best lesson your Mum ever taught you? 

We would love to hear your thoughts…please leave them in the comments below.

Thank you for reading and keep safe & well

Katie & The Spirit & Grace Style Team Xx

 

Mum, Dad & Daughter Wedding Picture
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Katie Topping

Following the success of ‘Isla Grace’, sold in the main through corporate offices, school fetes and charity events, I have now decided that I want to grow my business with an online presence and expand my offerings to you, where I will continue to offer you exceptional value for money without having to compromise on quality!

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